Loaded · 640K OK
PEW
PEW
A meme-flavored, personality-first programming language that somehow actually compiles. Written in C++, shipped as WebAssembly, dressed like it's 1992.
New here? ▶ Enroll in the Academy — hands-on, no install needed.
Runs in the browser
The whole interpreter is compiled to WebAssembly. No install, no setup — open the playground and it just runs.
Batteries included
A full standard library: string, math, file, os, process, scheduler, json, monitor, fs, alert — twelve modules in all.
Backends, in PewPew
http->route serves real HTTP endpoints — routing, query/form parsing, cookies, redirects, auto-JSON. A web backend with personality.
One engine, many languages
Swap the entire vocabulary with a skin — professional, PirateLang, BismillahLang. Same compiler underneath.
Pixel-art game engine
A built-in game module: pixels, sprites, mouse, collisions, smooth movement. Make arcade games in a few lines.
Syntax with a personality
yell, yoink, toss, sweardown, nah. The keywords read like group chat. The semantics read like a textbook.
; sum a bag of scores
do sum(bag nums) {
whole total = 0
foreach n in nums {
total = total + n
}
gimme total
}
bag scores = [10, 20, 30, 40]
yell("Total: " + sum(scores)); what it does
- bag — PewPew's word for an array.
- do — declares a function. gimme returns.
- foreach — walks every item in the bag.
- yell — prints with a newline. Output: Total: 100
CPU
Any. It ran on a potato in 1992. It runs on your tab now.
Memory
640K ought to be enough for anybody. We mean it this time.
Vibes
Mandatory. Set vibe mood = yes before running.